Help for Families of Alcoholics and Addicts

Dear Family Members-

We know how difficult it is to care about an alcoholic or drug addict. Sometimes we want to protect them, sometimes we want to kill them, and we always love them. But life in relationship to someone who is abusing themselves with alcohol and drugs is devastating to us, and we don’t know what to do.

Please take heart. You are not alone. Recovery from this disease is possible, and recovery for the family is available.
Here are some things you should know:
1) You didn’t cause it. No matter what they say, you didn’t cause it.
2) You can’t control it. As much as you want to, your willingness to do just about anything, won’t control how much or when an alcoholic drinks, or an addict uses.
You can’t cure it. It can be cured, but only once the addict/alcoholic hits a bottom or place of pain that is worse than the idea of giving up their drug. And they are the only ones who can make the decision that they are at that place, and become willing to do what it takes.

Your helpful loving behavior may be making it easier for the addict to keep on using. It’s called enabling, and it can prevent the addict/alcoholic from reaching that bottom that he needs to reach in order to get ready to change his life. If you are paying the bills, or making excuses, or cleaning up the messes, you are probably enabling.

Is it easy to quit that behavior??? No. Not without support.

Discovery Place offers support for the family through the Family Matters program, which is offered for no cost during your loved one’s stay here. We pray that you will take advantage of Family Matters, and bring as many family members as you can. Family supporting each other through this process can make all the difference.

Here are some suggestions that may be helpful now.

Get to an Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible. Try it 6 times before you decide whether you like it or not. Al-Anon is free, and meetings are held everywhere. For meeting information you can check the yellow pages in your town, or go to http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html. You can also call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) Monday thru Friday, 8 am – 6 pm ET. for meeting information in Canada and the US.

If you have teenagers, check to see if there is an Alateen meeting near you. It is a great resource for them.

Read some Al-Anon literature. Pick up some free pamphlets at a meeting, or buy one of the many excellent Al-Anon books, including How Al-Anon Works, and Pathways to Recovery.

Go to an open AA meeting. It may help you get a better understanding of the disease of alcoholism. For meeting information go to: http://www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm?origpage=29

There are many other resources available to you. Give us a call if you’d like. You may have some questions about what Discovery Place is like and whether it could work for your loved one. We want to help.

In the meantime, please know that you are not alone. We can all recover from the effects of alcoholism and drug addiction.

We hope to meet you soon.